using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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