from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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