Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
