3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
