I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Acid is not a monday night drug
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
