so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
