Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
