Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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