the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
