i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
