bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
