Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
