Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
wow bdsm is so cute
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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