its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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