He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
