So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
