I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
