I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This is classic penis vs brain.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
