READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
