Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
