It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
