Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
