I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize