why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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