She announced her abortion via fbk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he was CRYING into my vagina
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
