Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
