oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
