just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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