Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry black96cobra hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk

Fav 20 6103 982
share tweet
(949): View more from California

Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

Fav 22 1246 2656
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

Fav 28 1431 20670
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.

Fav 14 7682 1445
share tweet
(501): View more from Arkansas

Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

Fav 18 10884 2507
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...

Fav 4 2550 1220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...

Fav 10 1002 2896
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.

Fav 1 389 165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...

Fav 0 36 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT