you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
