Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
