i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
