In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
