mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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