have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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