is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My penis needs a shock collar
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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