i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
