her vagine was all disorganized.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
