it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I forgot how hot balto sounded
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
