At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
