I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
