so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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