I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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