my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
