im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
