Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
