Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
