also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
