btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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