Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
