Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
