Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
