I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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