Sry I called you an 8
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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