It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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