Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
