it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
