So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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