Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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